Saturday, January 3, 2009

A Father's Right to Choose...

One of the greatest initiatives was taken when it became a national issue about a woman’s right to choose. Whether she is pro-choice or pro-life the option to carry out or terminate a pregnancy is completely up to the woman in question.

But what about men?

There exist a great number of men who want a child and if the woman decides she wants to terminate the pregnancy then that man must swallow the murder of his child. Yet even still it is a woman’s choice. Pro-choice advocates emphasize their beliefs that having a child is a personal choice that affects a woman's body and personal health. The general belief is that it is a man’s responsibility to protect him self via condom. It is a common belief that “if a woman gets pregnant it’s a man’s fault”. There is no “generally accepted” belief that women share the blame equally for not taking proper precautions. Many women simply rely on condoms to protect themselves when there are a myriad of precautions to be taken including IUD’s, Depo-Provera shots and many others. Yet in many situations women become pregnant and even though the father chooses not to have a child he is forced to be tied down by that woman’s choice for life.

For example we could look at the Maury Povich talk show. Athough the issue may seem comical, Maury Povich has allowed us to see an epidemic of insurmountable proportions and if he had not, we as a society would never have believed it. There are women in America who are having unprotected sex with dozens of men within short periods of time and yet still believe that her choice to keep that child means that “if she ever discovers who the father is” he would now be responsible for supporting that child.

The amount of tax payer money that is spent on court costs to have blood tests, custody battles, determining Child Support, and Visitation is a waste of money. Therefore a bill should be passed that also gives men a right to choose. If a man chooses to agree to a pregnancy then he would have three months to sign a form that states ahead of time that he is agreeing to the pregnancy and in the event that he and the mother were to ever separate that he will pay child support, no fight. And on that same page it will also state that the man who signs that form will ALWAYS have rights to see that child. Automatic joint custody is agreed upon before the child is even born. If there is a circumstance where one of the parents aren’t fit to have their half of joint custody honored then that can be reviewed and determined by a court. But many men and women use children as pawns to hurt the other parent by not allowing that child to see their other parent.

I believe that if women understood that men also have a right to choose, then there would be a lot less frivolous and irresponsible sex resulting in many unwanted pregnancies (by women or men); Tax payers wouldn’t have to foot the bill for years of court dates to determine who the father is, who will pay child support and who will get custody. All of this would have already been determined before the child is born.

I am writing this because I had a son on April 21, 2000; a pregnancy/child that was not wanted by the mother but I begged her not to kill my son. She agreed but after a horrible fallout between his mother and I, she made it completely impossible for me to see my son. There was court ordered visitation, which she repeatedly disobeyed and even with police reports to prove my claims the court allowed her to keep my son away from me. It has been 5 years since I’ve seen my son and I ran out of money for lawyers a long time ago. I can’t retain a legal aid because I make too much money for a child being held from me, but I never see any of that money because I pay an incredibly high child support. This is unfair parental alienation and its time that men who step up to the plate as fathers are recognized and are given due respect by the court systems of America. My son is currently residing in Naples, Florida.

Jacques A. Montemoino

Disclaimer: This is not an Anti-abortion blog and I understand that there will many who disagree with this bill but the purpose of this blog is to get ideas on how to tweak the details and ultimately to gain support so that we could really push this bill.

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